Chosing a life partner

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I was reading this book called friendship courtship and christian marriage written by Kayode Adesogan. A lot of people have been getting engaged during this lockdown and i think it's a great time to share some ideas about choosing a life partner, courtship, engagement and the whole deal.  

When choosing a life partner here are several things to consider before embarking on this journey.

The Cultural factor

Language, religion, ethics, value, traditions and morals. It is important to consider the background and upbringing of your partner and how it differs from yours. Similarities are easy to recognise but it's important to identify the differences and consider how it might affect your relationship in the long term.

Universal problems

What are your passions. People go through different challenges in life and its important to note what inspires your partner. What gets you up in the morning?  Who do you blame, when you face a life changing problem like rape or loss ? There are a lot of universal problems with little or no solutions but as humans, our outlook in life is what keeps our mental health in check. What trauma have you experienced in childhood that affects your relationships or your ability to love? 

Religion

There are hundreds of religious belief. As a christian it is important to ask questions that align with your belief like - do you like to read the bible? do you take prayers seriously?,  do you enjoy living life as a christian?, do you seek to grow in the Lord? It there answer is yes, then seek a spouse with similar level of spirituality. You do not want to be the one dragging your partner. Even Jesus died on the cross but have is the choice to choose life or death. Do not make the choice for your partner and don't marry someone going they can change their religion.

Love and knowledge

Contrary to popular belief, love is not enough to sustain a marriage , you need friendship and  knowledge. Marry your friend.  Wisdom is knowing what to do, but knowledge is the application of it. Many people know about love and desire it, but they lack the knowledge of how to love. We do not all love the same way, some people show love through lots of gifts , some through service to one another. Understanding your love language and sharing that with your friend is key. 

Before going into marriage take your joy and your love for God into it. Do not lose yourself in marriage and forget about your joy and passion. No one is your better half,  you are a wholesome being looking for another wholesome being, and together greatness is born.

All the best on your journey to finding your life partner. 





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